


The Way I See You

by INeverHadMyInternetPhase



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, Reality, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 02:51:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7203449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INeverHadMyInternetPhase/pseuds/INeverHadMyInternetPhase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan’s shocked when he realises that Phil’s self-conscious about the way he looks. Apparently Phil doesn’t know that he isn’t allowed to be sad when Dan’s around. So Dan takes it upon himself to fix the situation - by complimenting something about Phil’s appearance every day. Trouble is, Dan isn’t very good at hiding his teensy tiny crush on Phil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way I See You

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fic I wrote for the phanfic exchange quite a while ago, originally prompted by comeonitsphan. It was a really fun experience! I wrote this before the tour happened, so the radio show was still going on. Enjoy the getting together phan schmoop <3
> 
> Edited by the lovely OvereducatedAndOverworked, thank you so much for doing this on such short notice! <3
> 
> Warnings for some swearing but nothing else ^_^

“I can’t believe you actually said that!”

Dan’s voice was indignant as they crashed through the door into their apartment. He shook his head, a fond smile playing at his lips as he turned to regard his best friend, close behind him as they made for the kitchen.

Phil shot him a tired attempt at a glare. “It was perfectly acceptable.”

“It was about three degrees away from an innuendo, and you know it.”

“You just have a dirty mind.”

Dan burst out into a short laugh as he flicked the kettle on. “Yeah, me and the rest of the listeners.”

“Yeah.” Phil slumped against the counter beside him. “All of you. Filthy. You should stop.”

Dan shook his head, though his lips were still turned upward. Radio shows always sent Phil to sleep, regardless of the fact that they never felt like proper work. They just got to mess around with each other for an hour. Dan fetched two mugs from the cupboard and reached for the coffee, though his hand hovered over the hot chocolate powder for a moment. He pursed his lips, glancing sideways at Phil. “Okay, you look like you’re about to fall asleep. Coffee or hot chocolate?”

“Coffee,” Phil mumbled with his eyes closed. “Always coffee.”

“It’s late, you sure that’s a good idea?”

“ _Always_ coffee,” Phil insisted.

Dan gave a small chuckle, but obediently spooned out the coffee powder into one of the mugs. He glanced back at Phil while waiting for the kettle to finish boiling, and even after all these years of living together, Dan felt his stomach flip. Phil’s eyes were closed, his elbows leaned against the counter, his head dipped just a little so his fringe fell down across his forehead. His brow had the tiniest, cutest little wrinkle, and his scent was warm and familiar.

Dan closed his eyes, counted to ten, and then firmly told himself to get it together. He _wasn’t_ still crushing on his best friend. No way. Nope, absolutely not, not after all these years.

The kettle beeped, and Dan gratefully took the distraction, glancing away from Phil as fast as he could, lest he get caught staring. When both mugs were steaming with coffee, Dan pressed one into Phil’s hand and led him to the living room. They settled down onto the sofa, but Phil slumped sideways almost straight away.

Dan sat and watched him fondly for several long minutes. When Phil was sleepy, Dan got the rare chance to watch him without risking getting caught, and those moments were too few and far between for Dan’s liking. Dan studied Phil’s face, how his long body stretched across the sofa, his toes just pressing against Dan’s knee. His arms were wrapped around his torso, his fingers relaxed. His clothes were loose and rumpled, though formal from the radio show earlier.

Phil shifted, and Dan instantly snapped his gaze back down to the floor. Getting caught staring was a bad idea. He glanced around for a distraction, his eyes falling upon his laptop, and Dan snatched it up quickly. At least the screen would give him something to hide behind.

The next hour or so passed peacefully—Phil curled up on the sofa, Dan tapping away at his laptop and stealing occasional glances at him. He checked his Twitter and his Tumblr, and then saw a gif from Internet Support Group that reminded him he needed to check his emails. ‘ _Had he overrun the gmail limit again?’_

The answer was no, but he was close. Dan filed away the reminder to film another one of those soon, and clicked onto his usual emails. He lifted a brow at the unread messages, one in particular catching his eye—a response from a photoshoot he and Phil had done the other day, waiting for their approval.

Dan clicked on the link with a smile. He’d enjoyed that shoot, and had been looking forward to the response. And he was not disappointed. He opened the attachment and up popped images of him and Phil, relaxed and happy, posing with props. Dan saw his own expression whenever he was caught looking at Phil, and he almost wanted to wince at the obvious look of adoration. Honestly, he’d been insanely lucky that Phil hadn’t picked up on anything so far.

Speaking of Phil…

Dan clicked back to the first image, then nudged his foot into Phil’s legs. “Hey. Wake up.”

“Nnngh,” Phil groaned unintelligibly.

“C’mon, you should check these out,” Dan nudged him again.

“Check what out?”

“Photos. From the other day.” Dan turned his laptop towards Phil’s face, despite his closed eyes.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“C’mon.” Dan jabbed his fingers into Phil’s side, prodding him until he stirred slightly.

“Whaddo I have to look at?” Phil spoke through a yawn.

“Awesome photos of us.”

“Ughhhhh.” Phil groaned. “Later. I’m sleeping now.”

“But these are cool!”

Phil closed his eyes again and lay back down. “They’ll still be cool tomorrow.”

“Phil. It’s like,” Dan glanced down to the bottom right of his laptop, “Not even eleven yet.”

“But working makes me sleepy.”

“You’re actually ridiculous.” Dan cast him another fond look before nudging against his leg again.

Phil groaned, peeking through his fringe at Dan. “You aren’t going to leave me alone, are you?”

“Nope,” Dan answered cheerily, “At least, not until you look at these with me.”

Phil grunted. He shifted around on the sofa, curling himself up into Dan’s side so he could eye the laptop screen over Dan’s shoulder. Dan shifted automatically, leaning his head into Phil’s and doing his best not to give away how much his heart rate had picked up. Six years hadn’t diminished the effect Phil’s nearness had on Dan’s body (which was, quite frankly, ridiculous).

“See?” Dan showed Phil the first picture, grinning. “Aren’t they great?”

Phil gave an unintelligible grunt, which Dan took for begrudging agreement. The years had made Dan all too familiar with Phil’s less-than-enthusiastic attitude when he was tired, and the radio show seemed to have taken an awful lot out of him this time around.

Dan continued to click through the images, his brows lifting on occasion. The photoshoot was a good one—or so Dan thought—with them playing around with various props and poses. Typically, Dan would be facepalming over something ridiculous Phil was doing, or they’d be standing back-to-back with matching grins and matching haircuts. Dan was pleased with the way they’d turned out.

“I think this one’s my favourite,” he murmured after a while, clicking back to one of the earlier sets. “The lighting’s nice; there’s hardly any shadow.”

Phil grunted again.

Dan glanced down at where Phil was still curled against his side, lifting a brow. “Are you actually incapable of holding a conversation with me past ten o’clock at night?”

Phil didn’t answer. He didn’t look up at Dan.

What he _did_ do was slide horizontally until he was practically lying in Dan’s lap.

Dan almost jumped. The only thing that kept him in place was iron self-control, perfected over years of worthless pining, but even that wasn’t enough to stop his heart from leaping in his chest. His hands fluttered over the warm weight of Phil in his lap, uncertain, before settling on grabbing the edges of his laptop to stop it from falling off the sofa.

Dan coughed. “Um. Okay. Phil? What’s the matter?”

Phil muttered something unintelligible into Dan’s jeans.

“Phil?” Dan tried again. He lifted his laptop up quickly when Phil shifted, holding it awkwardly above Phil’s head and trying to control the pounding in his chest. “What’s got into you?”

“Nothing,” Phil muttered.

“Are you sick?”

“Nope.”

“…Okay.” Dan narrowed his eyes, still holding his laptop above Phil’s head. “Well, something’s clearly the matter.”

Phil heaved a deep sigh. He rolled a little, turning his head just enough to look up and meet Dan’s eyes. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly something.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t believe you.” Dan shook his head, fixing his friend with a stern gaze.

Phil held his stare for a moment before giving up and flopping back into Dan’s lap.

“I’m not going to give up,” Dan added conversationally, “Just so you know.”

Phil grunted.

“C’mon.” Dan carefully lowered his laptop down onto the sofa by Phil’s legs, out of harm’s way. He poked at Phil’s shoulder. “What is it?”

“’S’Nothing.” Phil waved a hand in the general direction of Dan’s laptop, grazing his thigh in the process. Dan tried not to react. “Just. Y’know. That.”

“What?” Dan arched a brow. He surveyed his laptop screen, still open on the photos, and narrowed his eyes. “What, do you not like the shoot?”

Phil shrugged and buried his head back in Dan’s legs.

Dan frowned down at him, too worried now to allow himself to be bothered by Phil’s nearness. ‘ _Ridiculous; after all, he’s your best friend. Get over it.’_ Dan coughed. “I think we actually look quite good in these.”

“Yeah, sure,” Phil mumbled, _“You_ do.”

Dan blinked down at him. “What?”

Phil just hid his face further into Dan’s thigh.

Dan stared, turning over Phil’s words in his mind, and then—

Oh.

Dan clicked his tongue. “What, you think I look fine but you don’t?”

Phil grunted. “Like always. I mean. I should be used to it by now.”

“What do you mean?”

Phil groaned, refusing to lift his face from Dan’s lap. “Just. You look like a freaking model, and I’m, well, a giant potato.”

Dan tried not to let himself shiver at the compliment from Phil. Instead, he put a smirk onto his lips, chuckling. “Well. I mean. You are a giant potato in many ways, Phil.”

Phil prodded his leg.

Dan snickered, but surprise was still evident in his tone. “But like, honestly, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Don’t be nice to me,” Phil scolded, his tone glum. “I know you’re being nice to me.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “I’m telling you the truth. Um. Y’know, the objective truth.” He coughed, awkwardness radiating from his limbs. “Objectively, you’re, um. Good looking and stuff. Mate.” ‘ _Yeah, mate, just keep it purely platonic at the end there. Well done, Dan.’_

Phil grumbled. “Stop it.”

“It’s true.” Dan frowned down at him. “Seriously, though, I didn’t have you down for body confidence issues.”

“I don’t have issues.” Phil mumbled, his face still pressed against Dan’s thigh. “It’s just kind of obvious when I’m standing next to _you_.”

Dan’s heart leapt. He resisted the urge to let out a celebratory whoop because _had Phil really just complimented his looks twice in the space of five minutes?_ But there were more important matters on hand here than Dan’s unnecessary pining and ridiculous, childish crush. Phil was sad. And, well, Phil just wasn’t _allowed_ to be sad.

Dan shifted on the sofa, trying not to let his cheeks flood with heat (although he had little success). He let out a small cough. “Well, alright, but Phil. Be serious here. There’s nothing wrong with the way you look.”

Phil just grunted again.

Dan pursed his lips. He nudged at Phil’s shoulder, rolling him a little so that he could look at Phil’s face. Phil had his eyes squeezed shut. Dan arched a brow. “Are you actually ignoring me?”

“Maybe.”

“ _Phil_.” Affection riddled Dan’s tone. He laid his palm flat against Phil’s shoulder. “C’mon. We both look good in these. You actually look better than I do.”

“Liar.” The word blew between Phil’s lips like the tiniest whisper on the edge of a breeze.

Dan shook his head. “I’m not lying! Like, you’re attractive.”

“Really?”

“Yes! Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Yes please.”

Dan stared down at Phil, surprise widening his eyes, only to see Phil sending him a wicked grin. He rolled his eyes, giving Phil’s shoulder a shove. “Stop trying to troll me, you spork.”

Phil just giggled at him, and his face was adorable and his lips were stretched wide and _fuck_ did he look kissable. Dan squeezed his eyes shut momentarily. ‘ _Grounded, Daniel. Focused. There’s an actual conversation happening here.’_

“You make it too easy.” Phil’s smile held for another moment before it wavered and an odd shadow coated his expression again. He pushed his face back into Dan’s lap and heaved a heavy sigh.

Dan blinked down at him. Utter confusion laced his tone. “But, like—I mean, Phil, you must have seen all the comments on the internet about your looks. People love you.”

“They love _you_ ,” Phil huffed, “And they feel sorry for me.”

“That’s bollocks.”

“Is it?” Phil’s eyes opened again, his tone dropping, and Dan realised just how serious this conversation actually was. “Give me one example where people are genuinely calling me hot.”

Dan had to fight really hard not to just blurt out _when I do, you spork, because I love you and you’re totally freaking sexy._ But he censored himself firmly, fixing his lips into a stern line, praying that the heat in his cheeks wouldn’t betray him. “There are loads, Phil.”

Phil shook his head stubbornly. “Just people feeling sorry for me.”

“That’s a _lie_.” Dan bit his lip, taking a moment to consider the problem. It would be the easiest thing in the world for him to pour out platitudes to Phil, shower him with compliments, show him what he looked like to Dan—which was, admittedly, an angel that graced his daily life. But there was no way Dan could risk that. He’d be far too obvious, and mortification riddled Dan at just the _prospect_ of Phil figuring out about his hopeless crush.

But Phil looked so _sad,_ curled up in Dan’s lap. Dan couldn’t let that continue.

“Okay,” Dan stated firmly, “I’m going to prove to you that you’re wrong.”

“How?” Phil muttered.

Dan’s hand hovered over Phil’s body, searching for somewhere safe to land, before he settled it on Phil’s shoulder and gave him a firm pat. “I’ll tell you something good about yourself every day until you realise how ridiculous you’re being.”

Phil outright snorted. “You’ll run out pretty quickly.”

“You’re ridiculous when you’re tired.”

“Your mum’s ridiculous.” Phil stretched out in Dan’s lap, catlike. “All the time.”

Dan rolled his eyes. If they’d already devolved to mum jokes, then this conversation was going nowhere sensible soon. So Dan shut his laptop and shoved it over onto the floor, instead leaning across Phil’s long body to grab the TV remote.

“Stop moving,” Phil grunted.

“Stop being a baby,” Dan countered. “I’m putting a film on. Deal with it or go to bed.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Phil groaned melodramatically, but he shifted enough to let Dan flick on the TV.

\---

The next day, Dan stayed true to his word. He’d been having second thoughts; after all, just how many times could he compliment Phil before the line between platonic and, well, something _else_ just got too blurred? But he’d committed himself now, and Dan knew he couldn’t let Phil continue to worry about something he should have no fear about.

Besides, it wasn’t as if Dan could run _out_ of things to compliment Phil with.

So he started the very next day.

They were preparing to head out to a meeting, something to do with YouTube so they had to look presentable, and Dan had, as ever, left getting ready to the very last minute. So he was scrambling in his bedroom to tug on the closest-to-hand outfit that would make him look like the responsible adult that he clearly was. He’d just strapped on his belt when he heard Phil’s frantic voice.

“Dan! We were meant to leave ten minutes ago!”

“I’ll be right out!” Dan yelled back, hastily grabbing the jacket off his bed and scurrying out into the hall. He glanced up from shrugging it on to see Phil standing by the stairs with wide, panic-filled eyes. He still looked a little off, and he’d been acting funny all day. Sad and moody—very un-Phil-like.

So Dan took the time to stop and look at him, and he pursed his lips. “That shirt looks good on you.”

“What?” Phil blinked at him, his tone stressed. “Dan, we don’t have time—”

“We have time for this,” Dan shrugged, and a grin tugged at his lips. “You should wear red more often.”

Phil stared, and looked quickly down at himself, a crinkle of confusion appearing in his brow. “Huh?”

“Just take the damn compliment,” Dan breezed past him, “And let’s go get our taxi.”

Phil followed a few seconds behind him. “Is this about what you said yesterday?”

“About telling you something good every day?” Dan asked over his shoulder as he opened the front door, “Yeah. That.”

“Oh.” Phil caught up to his side as they walked out onto the street together, “So you were serious?”

“Naturally.”

“Oh,” Phil replied again. He flashed Dan a sudden grin. “Thanks.”

Dan’s heart fluttered at the warmth in that bright expression. He hid it behind a smirk. “Idiot.”

Phil gave his side a light shove, and then they were getting into the taxi and speeding off to the meeting. But Phil seemed a little brighter, the shadow in his eyes dissipated, and Dan thought he’d done his job for the day.

That night, after his live-show, Dan went out to the kitchen to find Phil had cooked his favourite meal, without any prompting. Dan leaned against him affectionately on his way out to the table; he knew it was Phil’s own way of saying that he was grateful. Phil showed his feelings mostly through his actions. He wasn’t much of a one for words, or deep conversations, but he had the edge on big gestures, which happened to be one of Dan’s many favourite things about Phil.

\---

The next day, it was Phil’s skin. They were both slouched into their respective seats on the sofa, heads buried in their laptops. Dan kept stealing sidelong glances at Phil, pondering just what he could compliment next to keep up his promise and bolster Phil’s confidence, without giving away the depth of his feelings.

Eyes? No, too close to romantic.

Hair? But Phil already knew that Dan had a slight obsession with his hair.

Body? Chest? Legs? No way, all of those were _way_ too far from platonic.

Eventually, Dan settled on blurting out something clunky, gesturing vaguely in Phil’s direction. “Your skin looks really good today.”

Phil’s head snapped up to meet Dan’s eyes, his open mouth depicting his surprise. “What?”

“Just. Your skin.” Dan was mumbling, his face already buried back behind his laptop screen. “Looks nice. In the sun. Uh. Yeah.”

Phil blinked, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Still keeping this up then, huh?”

Dan jerked his head in a nod. He risked a quick peep up over the laptop screen to catch Phil glancing at him knowingly, and Dan’s gut twisted. _Oh shit,_ he hadn’t given away too much, had he? He couldn’t risk Phil finding out!

“I know why you’re doing this,” Phil spoke darkly.

Dan jumped. He stared at Phil, fear shrivelling his heart until it was a tiny, hard lump in his chest. He swallowed. “W-what?”

Phil smirked. “You’re just trying to be nice to me.”

_Oh_. Well, thank heaven for that. Dan drew in a rough breath. “I’m being honest, Phil. Because _you’re_ being ridiculous.”

“No, you’re being nice,” Phil countered, lifting a finger before Dan could reply. “And I appreciate it. It’s totally unnecessary, but thank you.”

“It’ll be unnecessary once you actually believe me,” Dan muttered.

Phil just grinned at him again, but he sat up a little straighter when he turned back to his laptop. Dan felt pride wriggle through his chest again.

“Although I don’t know why you picked my skin,” Phil added conversationally after a couple of moments of silence. “I’ve always preferred yours to mine.”

Dan very nearly dropped his laptop. It slipped out of his fingers and landed heavily on his knees, making him give a short cry, which he quickly tried to cover up with a cough. Well, no use in attempting to keep his dignity now. He recovered his laptop carefully, wincing at the ache in his knees, and dared to flick Phil a glance. “Excuse me?”

Phil’s eyes were dancing. “Well, you know. With your sexy tan and all.”

Dan decided that, at that point, he was safer just placing his laptop on the sofa cushion next to him. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I may be slightly jealous.” Phil’s eyes raked him over, and his lips twitched upwards. “It’s a secret, though, so don’t tell.”

Dan looked resolutely at the floor, begging his cheeks not to flood with heat. “Now who’s just being nice?”

“I mean it.”

Dan refused to believe it, for the sake of his own sanity. He didn’t risk another look at Phil, either, instead opting to scoop his laptop back up and bury himself in gifs and Tumblr for the next few hours.

\---

The next day was a busy one for both of them, with Phil making several important phone calls, and Dan locked away in his scripting hole, attempting to create a few new videos. They had a couple of collabs coming up, too, but Dan wanted to get one of his own out first. He’d been neglecting his channel again, as his subscribers had been not-too-gently reminding him. With everything that needed to get done, he didn’t actually see too much of Phil until his rumbling stomach reminded him that it was getting on into the evening, and he had yet to eat anything hot.

So Dan clambered up to his feet and wandered out into the corridor, pausing by Phil’s door. “Hey. You in there?”

“Yeah,” sounded Phil’s reply.

“Want dinner?”

“Yes please!”

Dan grinned, heading into the kitchen to hunt through their cupboards (half of which were already open, no surprises there). He was just getting out the ingredients for a stir-fry when Phil appeared, looking very rumpled, and with his glasses on.

Dan turned to him with a warm smile. “Hey. Good day?”

“Ish.” Phil jumped up onto the counter by where Dan was cooking, passing him the ingredients. “Got stuck in the weirdest conversation with Lucille though.”

“Lucille the radio tech?”

“Yeah, she was ranting about wires or something—I don’t know—and I think she might have been telling me off?” Phil’s nose wrinkled. “But I only understood about half of what she was saying, and I felt too awkward to ask her, so.”

Dan snorted. “If we get kicked out of the BBC, I’m blaming you.”

“Well, it’s also her fault for being confusing.”

Dan shook his head, his lips quirking up. “Sure thing, Phil.”

When the ingredients were safely sizzling away in the pan, Dan turned the heat down a little to let them cook, and turned his gaze back to Phil. Phil was looking back at him, a cheeky smirk brightening his face. “Go on then, Dan. What’s your compliment for today?”

Dan raised his eyes heavenwards. “I can’t help but feel you orchestrated this whole thing just to troll me.”

“Hey, hey,” Phil raised his hands, eyes twinkling, “It was _your_ idea, remember.”

“I’m starting to regret ever suggesting it.”

“Well, it’s too late now.”

Dan shook his head, but allowed his gaze to flicker across Phil’s form. His clothes were crumpled, and his glasses were slightly askew, but his hair still fell perfectly straight. Dan had to admit, he may have taken this fairly rare occurrence to stare a little longer at Phil’s body than he would ordinarily, but he couldn’t help it if Phil’s arms looked so comfortable, and his chest so inviting, could he?

Phil squirmed a bit under the intensity of his staring, though, so Dan forced his eyes back up to see that Phil was staring straight back at him. Dan’s cheeks flooded again, his mouth running dry. ‘ _Shit. Platonic, remember? Keep this platonic.’_ He drew in a careful breath, willing his voice not to crack as he opened his mouth. “Your hair.”

Phil lifted his brows. “Hair?”

“Yeah.” Dan didn’t look away this time, braving holding Phil’s questioning look. “I’m not lying when I say I really love your hair, you know.”

Phil narrowed his eyes, leaning forward minutely. He was still sitting on the counter, his knee just brushing against Dan’s thigh where Dan stood keeping an eye on the pan, and it was just so _domestic_ that Dan was tempted to lean closer, to push the boundaries, just to see where they could take this. He could lean into Phil’s space, maybe lay a hand on his shoulder, bring him in close, nuzzle into his neck, maybe press a kiss to the small sliver of skin showing at his collarbone—

_‘But no. Platonic.’_

Because Phil was his best friend, and Dan wanted to keep it that way. So instead of moving closer, Dan actually stepped back, and kept his gaze fixed on the pan.

He sensed Phil shift slightly on the counter. He was still far too close—at least, in that moment, because although they weren’t actually touching anymore, Dan was still hyper-aware of every movement Phil made. From the shift of his feet, to the rise and fall of his chest, to the way his fingers curled around the edge of the counter. Dan made sure to keep his gaze firmly on the pan. He didn’t have enough self-control to risk looking at Phil just then.

Phil leaned a little closer. The hairs along the back of Dan’s neck stirred, a chill running down his spine, as he sensed Phil moving into his space. A hand was hovering by Dan’s shoulder—not touching, just hovering—and then it moved up towards Dan’s hair, just lightly playing with the strands.

It took everything Dan had not to lean into the touch.

“Personally,” Phil murmured, his voice so low it barely stirred the air between them, “I _much_ prefer your hair.”

Dan’s breath rushed out of him.

“I mean,” Phil continued lowly, “You have the curls, much as you hate them, and the colour. Though black would suit you.”

Dan took in a shaky breath, his eyes focused only on the pan. “We’ve had this discussion, Phil. I’d end up looking exactly like you.”

“Would that be a problem?”

“No, because you’re hot, but…” Dan bit his lip suddenly, cursing inside his head. He coughed to cover up his growing panic attack. “I just mean. There’s already one of you. I couldn’t walk around looking like your twin.”

Silence held for a moment. Phil’s hand dropped from Dan’s hair, allowing Dan a moment to breathe, but then it just settled on Dan’s shoulder instead. Dan focused solely on the stir-fry. ‘ _Don’t look at him. Just keep breathing.’_

“You have a point, annoyingly,” Phil hummed. “Especially because you called me hot.”

Dan jerked involuntarily. ‘ _Shit. Great job, Howell.’_ Phil didn’t exactly sound upset, though—his tone was light, his touch warm on Dan’s shoulder. It felt… normal.

Probably more normal than it should.

But best friends could touch like this. They could talk like this. Dan and Phil had always been close, and Dan appreciated this friendship more than he’d ever appreciated anything in his life. It wasn’t that he wanted _more—_ he just wanted to know that Phil was his. His, and only his. Which made Dan very selfish, but at times like this, when he just wanted to be close to Phil, Dan had a hard time remembering where the boundaries needed to be.

\---

Dan tried to avoid Phil a little after that incident. Not exactly an easy thing to do, considering how much their lives intertwined, but he hid out in his room and busied himself with his laptop, sending Phil a smile when he saw him and trying not to show his awkwardness.

But then Phil reminded him that they were due to film a gaming video together, and Dan wasn’t quick enough to think of an excuse to get out of it.

Plus, it wasn’t like there was anything actually _weird_ between them. They were close—nothing was going to change that. Dan was allowed to compliment his best friend, surely?

Things were just slightly awkward when his best friend complimented him back, causing Dan to simultaneously float on a breeze of happiness and cower into a shell of embarrassment.

They were playing a new game today, one that Dan had never heard of, but Phil had been itching to show him for a while. They were both sitting close together on their office sofa—perhaps closer than was strictly necessary—and leaning over the iPad screen, the camera switched on and facing them, the lighting the best they could get in their dingy office.

Dan did his best to keep his attention on the game, he honestly did, but his gaze kept getting caught up in Phil’s expression. It didn’t help that he had literally no idea what this game was, so he was forced to watch Phil play, and well, watching Phil in general always got a little… distracting.

Plus, Dan still hadn’t complimented Phil for today.

So Dan could hardly be blamed when he was watching Phil control the game, and Phil’s face broke out into a little giggle, his smile stretching wide, his entire face lighting up, and Dan just blurted out, “Dude, you actually have the prettiest fucking smile I’ve ever seen.”

Phil’s head whipped around to face Dan, the smile on his face falling just a little. His eyes were widened, his mouth slightly open.

Dan turned back to face the camera, biting down on his inner cheek. Phil was still staring at him. The fine hairs on his arms were raised, sending a chill up along his skill, but Dan managed to summon up a smirk as he eyed the camera sidelong. “Y’know, of course I’d say that. Got to uphold my place as Phil Trash Number One.”

A startled silence extended between them for too long. Dan looked steadfastly at the camera, then back down at the iPad still held in Phil’s grip, refusing to lift his eyes up to see his friend’s expression.

As the silence dragged further, Dan cleared his throat. “So. Keep showing me this game, then, Phil.”

“…Right.” Phil finally spoke, his voice sounding a little squeaky. “Yeah. Video.”

“Video,” Dan agreed.

“Right.”

“Great.”

“Um.” Phil’s voice was still a little higher than normal. “Yeah, just, Dan. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Of course.” Dan’s voice sounded incredibly normal, even to his own ears. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“…Alright then.” Phil cleared his throat, and leaned down over the iPad screen again. Dan could tell things were a little off between them, though. Phil kept his distance from Dan—distance that was normally non-existent, especially for gaming videos—and Dan couldn’t help but wonder if he’d gone a step too far. After all, he was 99% sure than Phil didn’t harbour any secret not-quite-platonic feelings for him in return, so Dan more than likely was just making things weird and uncomfortable with his stupid plan to compliment Phil incessantly.

Dan’s fears were only confirmed when, at the end of the video, Phil flipped off the camera and turned to face him. Straight away, Dan could tell something was wrong. Phil’s eyes weren’t dancing, like they usually were, and his mouth was set into a thin line.

Dan did the only thing he could think of—he bolted.

Muttering a quick something about using the bathroom, Dan turned and fled out of the office, thanking all his lucky stars that he’d sat on the side closest to the door for this video. He could hear Phil call his name, but Dan pretended not to hear, instead vaulting himself down both sets of stairs and locking himself in the bathroom.

Once he was safely locked away, Dan rested his forehead against the door and released a long, low groan. He _had_ to get a grip. This complimenting thing was supposed to be about Phil, about making him feel better, about making him feel confident. Dan knew without a doubt that Phil should be happy and smiling all the time, and he kind of took it as a personal affront whenever anything happened to make Phil sad.

This complimenting thing should work. Dan just _couldn’t_ make it be about his stupid crush.

No. Over these years, Dan had grown accustomed to hiding his feelings. He was just going to have to get better until this silly challenge he’d set himself was over, and Phil was happy again, and their lives could return to normal.

\---

The next day, the atmosphere was far too charged.

Dan spent the majority of his day hiding from Phil again, knowing he couldn’t risk being around him at the moment. When Dan left his room for breakfast, Phil was sitting at the kitchen table and instantly pinned him with that same serious-looking stare, but Dan just was _not_ ready to talk about this. He wasn’t entirely sure he could hide his feelings from Phil at this point. So he darted straight to the cereal cupboard, made himself a bowl, and then darted back out again with barely a glance in Phil’s direction. He was sure he heard Phil give a low, patient sigh behind him, but Dan was too busy hurrying back to his room to pay attention.

He went without lunch, deciding that he’d be better off just sticking to his room. He had his laptop out, his bedroom door firmly shut, and went through some of his more recent video ideas, deciding to script one out to film this week. If he couldn’t be around Phil, then he might as well use the time wisely.

Which really meant that he was procrastinating, but oh well. He’d get something scripted eventually.

As the evening went on, Dan’s stomach began to make itself known again, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to skip dinner. Besides, things with Phil didn’t _have_ to be awkward. Maybe Phil would be in his bedroom. Maybe he’d be avoiding Dan, because Dan had just made things too weird with his stupid complimenting game. Maybe he was already planning a way to move out, and let Dan down gently, and then never speak to him again…

_No._ Dan drew in a deep, careful breath, forcibly telling himself to calm down. Phil wasn’t going to walk out over something this arbitrary. He probably didn’t even realise that Dan might harbour secret feelings for him. Their friendship was strong; nothing was going to ruin it.

So Dan gathered up his courage, drew in a breath, and pushed open the door to his bedroom.

Phil was waiting for him in the kitchen.

Dan paused in doorway, frozen. He debated whether or not he’d have time to escape back to his room, but Phil glanced up to where he was hovering in the doorway, and his entire face brightened.

Dan didn’t have the heart to leave once he saw that.

“Hey!” Phil waved at him. “I’ve got pasta cooking, and you seemed busy so I didn’t want to disturb, but there’s enough for you too.”

Dan blinked. Was Phil just going to completely ignore what Dan said yesterday, then? Not that Dan had a problem with that. So Dan summoned up a smile, taking a seat at the table. “Sounds brilliant.”

“Great.” Phil was still smiling, and it settled Dan’s still racing nerves. “Have you been scripting?”

“Yeah. Well, trying,” Dan made a face. “I’m not entirely sure anything coherent came out, but it’s a start.”

“Run it by me when it’s done, if you like.”

“Please.”

Phil shot him another smile before getting up and going to get the pasta ready.

They ate comfortably, settling easily into their usual familiarity. Phil told Dan all about the newest cat video channel he’d found, promising to force him to watch them later, when Dan was finally finished with his scripting for the day. Dan settled in, forgetting his earlier discomfort. Things with Phil seemed to just slip straight back to the way they were supposed to be.

And if Phil’s look lingered on Dan a little longer than usual, Dan wasn’t one to notice.

They finished eating, and Dan scooped up both their plates, heading through into the kitchen to load the dishwasher. He couldn’t help but feel a little foolish. Had he totally overreacted about his little slip during yesterday’s gaming video? Phil didn’t even seem to consider it an issue. Dan needed to learn how to not overthink things, clearly, because there wasn’t even an issue here and he was making a giant problem out of one tiny hiccup.

But then Dan turned around, and Phil was watching him from the doorway with a knowing little smile, and Dan reconsidered everything again.

Phil stepped forward, and Dan jumped back several steps. He felt the kitchen counter against his back. Phil approached slowly, a smile playing about his lips, his eyes fixed on Dan.

Dan swallowed.

“So,” Phil spoke softly, the noise sharp in the suddenly tense air, “What’s today’s?”

“Wh-what?” Dan stammered out.

Phil’s expression settled into a smirk. “Well, so far, you’ve had my shirt, my skin, my hair, and yesterday it was my smile—”

“I thought you’d forgotten about that.”

“—So I think I deserve to know what you’ve come up with today,” Phil continued as if he hadn’t even spoken.

Dan just stared at him. “So you _do_ remember yesterday?”                                                

“Of course I do,” Phil snorted, “It’s not every day your flatmate calls you pretty.”

Dan leaned further back against the counter, swallowing and making his Adam’s apple bob.

“Anyway,” Phil continued, his eyes sparkling at Dan, “So what’s today’s?”

Dan examined Phil with narrowed eyes. “Are you saying you have no problem with me complimenting you?”

“Oh, it’s such a hard thing to bear,” Phil scoffed, his expression still warm. “I mean, it was bad enough dealing with you in your fangirl days…”

“Hey,” Dan glared, but Phil just burst out laughing. He moved forwards, crowding Dan back against the counter, leaning in close but not quite touching.

“So?” Phil hummed. “You promised me every day. What’s today’s?”

Dan grimaced. Phil was _far_ too close for him to be thinking straight, so much so that Dan could feel the warmth from his body sending chills up Dan’s arms. Dan closed his eyes, trying to focus his scrambled thoughts.

He didn’t succeed.

When he opened his eyes again, Phil was still looking at him. His expression was warm, affectionate, and Dan found himself relaxing. Phil was his best friend. Phil knew everything about him, and for some reason, still liked spending time with him. Dan severely doubted whether anything he could do would ever change that.

So, without overthinking it, Dan sighed and said, “Your eyes.”

Phil’s lips turned up a little. “My eyes?”

“Yeah.” Dan held his gaze, still leaning back against the counter. “I mean, I already told you I could go swimming in them.”

Phil’s expression shifted into one of surprise. He held Dan’s gaze, the silence stretching on, and Dan wriggled uncomfortably. He leaned as far back as he could, dropping his eyes back down to the ground. Phil’s feet were close to his, in his ridiculous mismatched socks, and Dan shook his head at his own ridiculousness. How could _Phil_ manage to make him so weak-kneed, _still_?

Sensing Phil’s continuing stare, Dan shifted again, cursing himself for making things even more awkward. He sidestepped away, thankful that Phil didn’t follow him. “Anyway. I’m just gonna. Finish, y’know. Scripting.”

“…Right.” Phil’s voice was a little faint.

Dan didn’t look at him as he scurried back to his room, and he didn’t emerge again that night.

\---

Things only got more awkward from there on out. Dan didn’t leave his room at all the next day. He kept his ear pressed to his bedroom door, only risking scurrying to the kitchen when he was sure Phil was in the bathroom, or securely in his own bedroom – somewhere Dan wouldn’t have to face him. He ran out to make lunch when he heard Phil dragging the lights down the hall into his bedroom, and heard him setting up the camera. If Phil was filming a main channel video, then he’d be busy for a while.

Dan settled back into his bed once he’d eaten, his laptop open up in front of him. He still hadn’t got very far with his script – just a few lines written, but he wasn’t sure it was going to go very well. He was talking about an anecdote he’d thought would be funny and relatable, but he was doubting his idea the more he wrote. Ordinarily, he’d run it past Phil, but, well, the last thing Dan needed was to embarrass himself any more in front of his flatmate.

Dan groaned, running his palm across his face. He never should have got himself into this situation. Would he _never_ learn that he was literally incapable of doing _anything_ without making it awkward? He was stupid, so stupid, to think he could manage to compliment Phil every day without revealing his foolish, foolish crush. Phil must be so awkward around him now. Dan was sure that Phil wouldn’t hate him, or judge him, but he couldn’t be comfortable when Dan was being such an idiot.

At this point, Dan wasn’t honestly sure he could ever face him again.

But that wasn’t fair on Phil, was it? And Dan had started this whole project in the first place to make Phil happy. The last thing Dan should do was make things even worse.

Just then, he heard Phil leaving his bedroom and heading into the lounge. Dan narrowed his eyes. It was a bit early for them to be making dinner now, wasn’t it? He checked the time – ten to seven. Oh, and it was Sunday. Phil was doing a liveshow, wasn’t he?

Dan pursed his lips, hesitating. And then he pulled up his YouNow tab and clicked onto Phil’s profile, making sure to sign out so he would appear anonymously.

Dan was early, so he gnawed on his lower lip and watched the screen, his fingers bunching in the fabric of his bedsheets, until the camera loaded and Phil’s smiling face appeared.

The chat, of course, went wild. Phil grinned at them all, reading off names as they appeared and greeting them all with a wave. Dan kept to his anonymous grey icon, eyes fixed on the screen. Phil looked a bit tired – he had slight bags under his eyes – and his fringe was a bit messy. Dan wondered what he’d been filming. Usually, he asked for Dan’s help, and Dan winced. It was all his fault that Phil was stuck doing stuff on his own now.

With that thought in mind, Dan pursed his lips, continuing to watch as Phil began to talk about his day. He mentioned accidentally spilling some cereal this morning, which Dan would have known if he’d actually risked leaving his room. He mentioned filming a video, too, and teased it by showing a cactus (although Dan privately thought he just wanted to show off more of his damn plants). But throughout, Phil’s eyes remained a little dim.

And Dan still hadn’t complimented him yet today.

Dan mulled that over, wondering how best to go about it today. He still wasn’t sure he could face Phil yet – and certainly not when Phil was doing a live-show in front of thousands of people – but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do it at all.

So Dan pushed his laptop off his lap and picked his phone up. He opened up a new message to Phil Lester, contemplating over what to type. This had to be perfect – enough to cheer Phil up, but not too much to make him more uncomfortable. Dan mulled it over for a while, continuing to watch Phil as he thought. Phil’s voice always helped to calm Dan down. It threw Dan back to his teenage days, when Phil was nothing but a voice on his laptop that Dan would turn to at the end of a long, stressful day. Phil was always there for him, even before he knew who Dan was.

Surely, Dan could repay the favour now.

He typed out the text.

**Dan:** _So I still owe you today’s compliment. Pretty sure it’s your voice. You always manage to calm me down when I’m stressing out. Dork._

He hovered his thumb over the ‘send’ button for a moment, hesitating. Should he do this in the middle of a live-show? What if he just distracted Phil?

Well, hopefully, it would be a pleasant distraction.

Dan sent the text.

He shoved his fist in his mouth, watching Phil’s face in his laptop screen. It only took a few seconds for Phil’s phone to go off, and he grinned at the camera as he flicked it on. “Oh, look! Someone loves me.”

_‘If only you knew how much’,_ Dan thought wryly.

Phil glanced down at his phone, and his eyes widened a little. Dan watched with bated breath. Phil paused for a moment, just staring at his phone, but then his entire face brightened up with a warm smile that took Dan’s breath away. The corners of his eyes crinkled, his lips lifting, and he hummed a happy noise.

Naturally, the chat was going crazy asking who the text was from, but Phil just acknowledged it with a small hum. “Oh? The text? It was just a nice message, nothing to worry about. It made me feel better, which is always nice.”

Dan couldn’t hold back a small grin then.

Once Phil’s live-show was over, Dan could hear Phil moving down the hall, so Dan quickly shut his laptop and tried to look casual. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Phil was pushing open Dan’s door and sending him the sunniest grin that Dan had seen in quite some time. “Hey. Want to help me cook?”

Dan raised a brow. “You mean you aren’t just going to cook for me?”

“As if. Lazy butt. Come help.”

Dan made a face, but he was struggling to hold back his smile as he got to his feet and followed Phil into the kitchen.

\---

The next morning, Dan decided it was time to stop hiding.

The evening before, he and Phil had managed to have a perfectly normal dinner together (accompanied by much teasing and a few video ideas thrown around), and both he and Phil had gone to bed with matching grins on their faces. Any tension seemed to have dissipated.

Or so Dan hoped. Occasionally, he would still catch Phil sending him a long, lingering look, with something unreadable playing about his eyes. Dan couldn’t quite place the expression, but it sent a strange tug to his chest. Dan did his best to ignore it.

But he wasn’t going to hide from Phil anymore. He missed Phil’s company too much – even the past few days had been tough. No, Dan would just have to suck up his awkwardness and learn how to hang out with his best friend again.

So Dan was up fairly early the next day, pottering around the kitchen. He even got out his own cereal, knowing it was Phil’s favourite, and had a bowl ready and the next anime episode set up for them to watch.

Phil appeared a little while later, bleary-eyed, in his pyjamas, with his glasses still on. His hair was a floppy mess, and he yawned every thirty seconds, but Dan still felt a ridiculous flood of warmth whenever he looked over at Phil.

Ridiculous. Crushes were the most ridiculous thing ever invented, and whoever was responsible for them should be punished.

“So you’re actually talking to me again?” Phil mumbled over a cup of coffee.

Dan hummed a little guiltily. “Yeah. Sorry. Just … been busy.”

“I get that.” Phil grabbed his cereal and joined Dan on the sofa, sitting right beside him again, so close their arms brushed. “Thought I might’a offended you, or something.”

“What? No!” Dan glared at him. “Never think that. It isn’t _your_ fault.”

“Oh. Okay. Good.” Phil grinned back at him, nudging him with his elbow. “C’mon then, stick on the anime.”

Dan obliged with a smile in return. He settled back into the sofa, enjoying the presence of Phil by his side again, relishing in the warmth radiating from his body. Phil always served as a personal radiator. He seemed to absorb any and all heat in the room, and that was one of the many reasons that Dan just wanted to curl up in Phil’s arms and stay there for eternity.

_But no,_ Dan reminded himself, _Stop trying to push things. You have a great life as it is._

During the course of the anime, a still-sleepy Phil pushed away his bowl and mug and flopped down beside Dan, his head resting on Dan’s shoulder. Dan shifted to accommodate, an arm winding around Phil’s shoulders to draw him closer. Dan closed his eyes and allowed himself to relish the moment. He missed the next few minutes of the anime, but it was worth it. Phil was so warm by his side, and this just felt so _natural._ Dan didn’t really want to ever let go.

The anime drew to a close, the ending song beginning to play, and Phil let out a low hum. His voice rumbled against Dan’s chest. “So, what’ve you got for me today?”

Dan smiled fondly down at him. “Still after compliments?”

“You promised.” Phil’s voice had a hint of a whine to it.

Dan rolled his eyes, but his tone was still fond. “Remind me never to make a deal with you again.”

“No.”

“Idiot.” Dan nudged Phil’s side with his elbow, but Phil retaliated by sliding further against Dan’s chest. Dan smiled down at him. He was so glad – _so_ glad – that despite everything, he still got the chance to be close to Phil every day. Even if they never had anything else, this was more than enough.

So Dan tightened his arm around Phil’s shoulders and watched him with a small grin. “Your morning stubble’s pretty great.”

“Just because you have the same amount of facial hair as a grape,” Phil mumbled into Dan’s shirt.

“Rude,” Dan shoved him.

“It’s true.”

“Shut up, I was trying to compliment your sexy stubble.”

“Sexy?” Phil’s voice took on an interested tone, and he sat up a little, shifting his face to look up at Dan. “You think I’m sexy?”

_Shit._

Dan did his best to keep his breathing even, to stop his fingers from trembling as his grip loosened around Phil’s shoulders. Phil didn’t let him move away, though. He grabbed Dan’s arm, keeping him in place, his eyes intent as they fixed onto Dan’s face.

Dan froze.

He couldn’t have spoken, even if he had any idea what to say. Phil’s eyes stayed locked onto his, and Dan couldn’t read his expression at all. He was far too close – close enough to set Dan’s pulse throbbing and his heart fluttering in his chest.

And then Phil was leaning closer, and Dan couldn’t stop himself from glancing down at Phil’s lips, and –

And –

_Bzzz!_

The door buzzer sounded, and Phil jumped back as if he’d been shocked.

Dan felt disappointment swell up from his gut, but he swallowed it down. Quickly, he retracted his arm from around Phil’s shoulders and scrambled up to his feet, muttering, “I’ll get it.”

Phil remained conspicuously silent.

Dan scurried down the stairs to the front door, opening it to the postman with some parcel he’d ordered last week. Dan signed for it as quickly as he could. As soon as the postman was gone again, Dan closed the door behind him and leaned his forehead against it, blowing out a shaky breath.

_He and Phil had nearly kissed._

Dan didn’t know what to do with that information. He didn’t know how to process it.

Because surely, _surely,_ Phil couldn’t feel something like Dan. Surely not. It was impossible. Not even worth thinking about.

Dan walked slowly back up the stairs, clutching the parcel with trembling fingers. When he got back to the lounge, Phil was back on his feet, and he wasn’t meeting Dan’s eyes. “Just remembered. We’ve got that thing at YouTube today.”

Dan blinked at him. “Huh?”

“Meeting. We’re already late.” Phil was hurrying up the corridor. “Get dressed.”

“…Right.” Dan stared after him, his mind a mesh of confusion. Because Phil _was_ the one who was moving closer; he was the one that initiated, not Dan.

What did that even _mean_?”

“Dan!” Phil’s voice called from his bedroom. “Come on, I haven’t heard you moving yet, we need to get going!”

Dan gave himself a shake and hurried to his own room. Time to figure all this out later.

He hoped.

\---

They had no more time to talk that day. The meeting took up the better part of the day, and then Phil wanted to edit the gaming video from the other day, and then Dan had to film his next main channel video, and before they both knew it the sky was dark and they were both yawning sleepily.

Dan went to bed more confused than he had been in quite a while. Never, not even _once,_ had he _dared_ to consider that Phil might actually return his feelings. There was just no way. All this time, Dan had been convinced that he was harbouring a foolish, childish crush, and as long as he ignored it, it would go away. And for the most part, it had worked. He and Phil were the best of friends, closer than Dan could ever have hoped for. They did literally everything together.

But now, the boundaries were blurring, and Dan didn’t know what to do.

He slept uneasily, waking often, and began the next day bleary-eyed and grumpy.

Phil beat him up, as per usual. He greeted Dan with a small, soft smile and a steaming cup of coffee, and Dan was once again reminded that he lived with the literal example of a perfect human.

They passed the day comfortably. Phil stayed on the sofa, editing his main channel video, but Dan just couldn’t settle. He wandered around the rooms, switching between the office, his bedroom, and the lounge (though he couldn’t stay in that last one for long, finding Phil’s presence too distracting even when Phil was busy buried in his laptop). But every time Dan looked at Phil, he remembered the way he’d looked resting against Dan’s chest, with his eyes warm and his mouth so close…

And then Dan had to pull himself together before his brain could get too carried away.

Phil, however, didn’t leave him be for too long.

Dan was just in the kitchen, getting himself a snack before going to do his live-show, when Phil appeared in the doorway with a happy grin on his face. “I got it done!”

“Congrats.” Dan was impressed by how normal his voice sounded.

“Thanks.” Phil leaned against the counter next to him, and his closeness made Dan’s thoughts scatter again. “Will you give it a watch for me?”

“Sure.” This time, Dan’s voice did tremble a little. “Um, I’ve got a live-show in a bit, but after?”

Phil nodded with a small hum. “Okay, but first, you have to give me my compliment for the day.”

Dan froze.

Phil still wanted a compliment?

Was he not even aware of what happened? How close they’d been?

Or had Dan imagined the whole thing?

“Come on,” Phil nudged Dan’s arm, and Dan shot him a look to see a knowing twinkle in Phil’s eye.

No, Phil _must_ have known. He must be aware of what he was doing to Dan. Surely.

Dan met his eyes with a strange sort of confidence, doing his best to ignore the constant squirming of his stomach. He placed his snack back down on the counter and turned to fully face Phil. He allowed his gaze to flicker across Phil’s face, confidence growing when Phil sent him a knowing smirk in return.

“Lips,” Dan finally settled on.

Phil lifted an eyebrow. “Lips?”

“Yeah.” Dan managed to steady his voice. “You have good lips.”

Phil hummed. “That’s cheating.”

“Excuse me?”

“You already had smile,” Phil countered, “When we were filming the gaming video. That’s basically the same.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Sor- _ry._ It’s kinda hard to come up with specific ones when literally everything about you is perfect.”

Phil’s eyes widened.

Dan cursed in his head.

Phil just kept staring at him, even as the silence stretched on, and Dan shifted on his feet. He stepped around Phil, shaking his head. “I’ve gotta go. Live-show.”

“Dan –” Phil’s tone was full of warmth, with an edge of something _new_ , and Dan couldn’t handle it just then.

He scurried out of the kitchen as fast as he could, practically running into his bedroom.

As it turned out, Dan was actually early to his live-show, for the first time ever. He settled in front of his laptop and plastered a smile on his face, letting the camera load up.

The chat quickly went insane. All the messages registered shock that Dan was actually _early,_ and he chuckled, raising his brows at the camera. “Yes, I know, I’m early. I’m as surprised as you are.”

He waffled on as he usually did, jumping on the topics the chat supplied him with. As usual, he ignored any comments asking for Phil, or talking about phan – even though his feelings on the topic were more than mixed this time around. As the live-show went on, Dan could hear the clattering of pots from the kitchen, telling him that Phil was cooking yet again.

Too good a housemate. Too good for Dan.

Dan licked his lips, continuing to waffle on. He was in the middle of a good rant about one of the most recent Walking Dead episodes, when his phone buzzed on his desk.

“Oops, how unprofessional,” Dan apologised to the camera, letting the chat take over for a while as he scooped up his phone.

**Phil:** _You know, it’s funny. Literally every compliment you’ve given me this week I could have said about you_

Dan’s heart stuttered in his chest.

He didn’t have any time to collect himself before another text came buzzing through.

**Phil:** _But I have too many favourites of yours to pick_

**Phil:** _Your hair, though I still think black would suit you_

**Phil:** _Your eyes_

**Phil:** _Your laugh_

**Phil** : _How warm you are next to me_

Dan swallowed, flicking his eyes quickly back up to the camera. He saw his reflection, grimacing at the way his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were wide, and quickly tried to school his expression back to neutral.

The continuing texts were not helping.

**Phil:** _Your scent_

**Phil:** _You in my clothes_

**Phil:** _You in my arms_

At that one, Dan choked. He dropped his phone quickly into his lap and grinned up at the camera, forcing out a short laugh. “Sorry about that. Just a friend.”

His phone buzzed again.

**Phil:** _Your mouth (it’s too kissable it’s really distracting)_

Dan drew in a shaky breath.

Thankfully, his phone stayed quiet, so Dan had a moment to gather up his scrambled thoughts. He put on the best semblance of his usual sardonic smirk, flicking a quick glance at the chat. It was going crazy with curious questions, all of them wanting to know what text he’d received. Apparently, a few people had noticed his flush, and everyone wanted to know what made him go so quiet.

“Sorry, guys,” Dan quickly apologised, flicking his fringe out of his eyes, “But turns out a friend’s coming over. So I’ve gotta go. Um. Good job I started early, right?”

The chat was still filling with responses, but Dan made his goodbyes, his phone a heavy weight in his lap. He waited for YouNow to close with a mix of anticipation and trepidation sitting in his gut.

When the live-show did end, Dan slammed his laptop closed and stayed seated on his chair for another long moment.

After too long sitting immobile, Dan clicked on his phone again, and there sat all the messages from Phil. They were still there. Dan hadn’t imagined them.

Unless this whole thing was some kind of hallucination.

But then, the clatter of pots sounded from the kitchen, accompanied by the smell of cooking food. Phil’s voice echoed from the corridor. “Dan? You coming?”

His voice sounded just exactly like home.

Dan’s heart was doing somersaults in his chest, but he made himself stand, his long limbs unfolding. He straightened slowly. Everything felt like a dream as he headed dazedly through the flat and back into the kitchen.

Phil greeted him with a warm smile. “Hey.”

Dan just stared at him, his phone in his grip.

After a long silence, Phil set down the pan he was holding and headed over towards Dan, his expression knowing.

It took everything Dan had not to look away.

“So,” Phil hummed innocently, “Did you get my texts?”

Dan swallowed.

“I’m really hoping you did,” Phil added, “Otherwise you just cut a perfectly good live-show short for no good reason.”

Dan eventually found his voice, though it came out as a squeak. “How long have you known?”

Phil blinked at him. “Known what?”

“That I…” Dan’s voice got stuck.

Phil just smiled kindly at him. “That you have feelings for me?”

Dan could do nothing but nod.

“I kind of suspected after you complimented my hair,” Phil mused, “But, like, I wasn’t sure. Not until the gaming video. And then you just kept hiding from me…”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, I think you’re making up for it.” Phil sent him a wicked smirk. “As long as I’ve been reading this right.”

Dan licked his lips, trying not to focus on how Phil’s eyes were drawn there. He swallowed. “Um. And then – then you nearly kissed me.”

Phil shifted his weight, flicking his eyes back up to meet Dan’s. For the first time, the shadow of uncertainty crossed his expression. “And you ran away again.”

“Not from you,” Dan hastened to clarify, “I just – I didn’t quite believe it.”

Phil tilted his head, curious.

“You’re _so_ out of my league,” Dan explained with a short laugh, “And I just never even _thought_ …”

“Wait, wait.” Phil stared at him. “ _I’m_ out of _your_ league? Dan, _you’re_ out of _my_ league!”

Dan stared at him, nonplussed.

“That’s how this whole thing started,” Phil explained all in a rush, “Because I look so _stupid_ next to you, in that damn photoshoot, where you’re just the epitome of hotness and I’m – I’m – “

“You look better than I do,” Dan whispered. His chest was threatening impossible happiness.

Phil shook his head. “Nope. I _don’t_ , Dan. And everything you’ve said to me this week…”

“I meant all of it.”

“… _I_ should be saying that to _you_ ,” Phil finished with a firm nod. “Because you deserve to hear how incredible you are. Every day. And I’m sorry I haven’t been telling you.”

Dan’s breath was stolen away.

He drank in Phil’s look, drowning in the warmth of his gaze, relaxing in the knowledge that _it was okay._ That his stupid little crush was okay. That Phil might actually – somehow – feel the same way back.

Phil’s hand landed on Dan’s shoulder, grounding him again. “Dan. Dan. I really hope you’re okay with this, because I’m going to kiss you now, and I am _not_ letting you run away again.”

Dan scrambled himself together enough to nod, and then Phil’s lips were pressed against his.

The kiss was slow and chaste and perfect. Phil’s hands slid up Dan’s arms, winding around his neck, and Dan found himself grabbing onto Phil’s hips to hold himself in place. Phil leaned into him, and Dan stumbled back against the counter, his brain empty apart from the pure feeling of Phil pressed up to him.

_Phil was actually kissing him._

They broke apart slowly, meeting each other’s eyes, just holding each other’s gazes for as long as they could.

Then, Phil broke out into a grin, and Dan could do nothing but match the expression. He leaned forward and buried his face in Phil’s shoulder, tightening his grip around Phil as he breathed out, “Why the _hell_ didn’t you do that sooner?”

Phil laughed into his hair. “I tried! You kept running away!”

“I was scared,” Dan admitted lowly. “Thought you’d reject me.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Thanks.”

Phil snickered again, and then his hands were pulling Dan back and he was kissing him again, and Dan lost himself to the touch.

\---

The next morning dawned slowly and sleepily.

Dan stirred, awakening with the sense that something was _different._ Not wrong – in fact, the warmth radiating from the sheets and the glow in his chest suggested that something was perfectly right – but _different._

Dan stretched out, yawning, and then his legs bumped into something else.

Dan’s eyes shot open.

He was met with green and blue sheets – _what_ – and there was a warm presence by his side.

Then Phil’s low voice murmured, “Morning, sleepyhead.”

Dan jolted fully awake. His eyes flew wide open and he twisted his head, his heart stuttering when he came face-to-face with _Phil_. Phil’s expression full of warmth, a bright smile at his lips. His hair was mussed from the pillow, and his arms were around Dan, and Dan’s head was pillowed on Phil’s chest.

Dan drew in a sharp breath.

Phil nosed at his hair, yawning widely. “You move around so much in the night. I swear I had to get my covers off you, like, five times.”

“Hey,” Dan croaked, his voice husky, “Not my fault you invited me in here.”

“Pretty sure you barged in, actually,” Phil responded mildly.

“Well I don’t hear you complaining.”

“I am,” Phil tightened his grip around Dan, nuzzling into him. “I’m kicking you out.”

Dan shoved his face into Phil’s chest. “Don’t you dare.”

He could hear Phil’s laughter rumbling in his chest. Sleep was still curling in the edges of Dan’s brain, clouding his thoughts into warm fuzziness, and he nestled close to Phil with a low hum of happiness. “Still think I’m dreaming.”

“I promise you’re not,” Phil murmured. His hand began to stroke through Dan’s hair, tracing down the curve of his spine, following the contours of his body.

Dan shivered. His voice was low, muffled with sleep. “I missed one of my favourite things about you.”

“Hm?” Phil stroked his back.

“My favourite thing, actually.” Dan spoke into Phil’s chest. “I mean, I have loads of favourite things about you –“

“Shut up, you’re going to make me blush.”

“– but my favourite is definitely your arms around me.” Dan closed his eyes. “Please don’t ever let me go.”

In response, Phil tightened his grip, and he pressed a kiss to the top of Dan’s head. “If you never try to leave, I see no problem with that.”

As Dan felt sleep wrapping him up again, he decided that he had absolutely no plans to leave any time soon.


End file.
